The Arrival of Chloe Jane

Tuesday, October 27, 2009: Another doctor appointment, another ultrasound. We were expecting the usual. However, Chloe had only grown a few ounces, up to 5 lbs. 3 oz. She was in the 2nd percentile for size. A significant drop. She just wasn't increasing in size like she should be, a side-effect of a medicine I have to take. Up until now, they had always said that she was small but there was no reason to worry. Apparently, there was now reason to worry. This time, my doctor said that the baby would be delivered no later than 38 weeks. No question about it. Those were the doctor's parting words to me. Wow.

She then had me go over to the next room to do a stress test for the baby. They hooked me up to a monitor to keep track of her heartbeat, and they had me click a button every time I felt her move. She was moving around a bit and I clicked enough times to show that she's moving around ok, maybe like 10 or so kicks. This was acceptable, and I got to leave for the day, but had to schedule appointments to come back for more stress tests the next week.

Monday, November 2, 2009: Another stress test. I had to go in to school to get stuff ready, then run over to the doctor's office while an aide brought in my class and get them started until I could get back to school, only about an hour later. (Thank you, Lisa!) I was a little frantic, since the prior Friday was our Halloween day and the room was a wreck. I got things together just in time and made it to my appointment, but it was a lot of last-minute business for a 9-month pregnant lady!

My appointment was just for another stress test, but the assistant always takes my blood pressure. I can never remember what the numbers are or what they mean, but mine came up like 160 over 120. Even I knew that was high. She said she was going to try it again. No change. She had me lay down and hooked me up to start the stress test, then went and got another assistant to come and try my blood pressure. It only improved a little, so they were visibly freaking out. On top of all that, Chloe wasn't moving. At all. I thought they were going to rush me off to the hospital right then and cut her out! And I didn't have a substitute for the day!

As a last resort, they went and got me a "juice" to see if it would get her moving. (Hi-C, which is apparently 100% sugar.) After gulping down the juice, I only had to wait about 2 minutes and Chloe was kicking my uterus like she was warming up for a soccer game.

The doctor came in and said, "We'll deliver on Friday. Someone will call you this afternoon or tomorrow to schedule your delivery." And that was that.

Thursday, November 5, 2009: Another stress test. Even though they were planning on me delivering the next day. Things must look pretty bad. I made sure to take the day off so I wasn't rushing around, affecting my blood pressure. It still was kinda high, but way lower than on Monday, so it was okay. However, we could not get Chloe to kick at all. Not even with juice. I think I felt her move twice in almost a half hour. Not a great sign, but I knew she was just asleep. She's more of a night owl than an early bird; I had been feeling her kick and stretch all night long!

Friday, November 6, 2009: My delivery by cesarean section was scheduled for 5:00 pm. So not only did we have to sit around all day, anticipating, but I also had to fast for 8 hours before the operation. Fast all night, light breakfast, then fast all day. It was gonna be rough. And boring, waiting and waiting all day for 5:00 to arrive. Happily, my sister-in-law, Malissa, did some maternity photos with me. (I'll post some photos as soon as she's done editing them.) That helped pass the whole morning. Plus I still needed to pack my bags for the hospital. Nothing like waiting 'til the last minute.

Finally, it was time to head over to the hospital. Bryan dropped me off at the Maternity entrance so he could try to find a parking place. It was packed! Good thing I had an appointment! I walked in the door and went back to the second desk, past the information desk. The lady greeted me and I said, "Um, hi, I'm here to have a baby... I'm scheduled for 5:00." They checked the books and said, "Candace? Just go through those door there with the yellow paper on it." Nice! I filled out a bit more paper work (but seriously, what is the point of pre-registering if I'm just gonna do more paperwork when I get here??) Bryan met me in this room, and then she led us out to the prep- room to get ready for surgery.

Here's the last picture of me pregnant with Chloe. And here's Bryan getting ready for surgery. They had a devil of a time finding a vein to put my IV in. The nurses asked if I had any water to drink today because my veins were hard to find. Um, no. I had to fast for 8 hours, and before that was night when I was fasting in my sleep. My sister-in-law Malissa warned me that getting the IV would be the worst part of the c-section, and she was not kidding. But it was nice knowing that once they got the IV taken care of, the rest would be smooth sailing. We sat, prepped for surgery, and waited for over half an hour. Hmmm... We heard one of the nurses mention that the lady in the operating room was taking too long cause they couldn't get her to stop bleeding. Greaaaaat... just what I need to hear. But I had a blessing from Bryan before we left for the hospital, so I wasn't nervous or worried a bit.

We finally get into the operating room, and it was freezing in there. My anesthesiologist came to talk to me. His name was Dr. Seamus. He had a pony tail and an earring. But he was great! The spinal block was a lot of pressure on my back. It hurt, don't get me wrong, but the worst part really was the IV. I had to lean forward so he could insert the needle. I was trying not to shiver uncontrollably so it didn't mess him up, but it was so cold! Once he got it in, he said, "Okay, now your feet are going to feel really warm and heavy in about 2 seconds." I was in the process of saying, "Wow, that's really fast!" but only got out, "Wow! That...." I laughed and said, "There it goes!" They helped me to lay down, and Dr. Seamus said, "Now they're going to do a pinch test to see if you can feel it. I don't need to know if you can feel it or not, I just need to know if it hurts." I agreed and he said, "Well it must not have hurt cause they already did it!" Ha! Let the surgery begin! I was numb from the chest down, but the top of me was so cold I was shaking; I just couldn't stand it. Bryan was really more concerned with what was happening on the other side of the sheet hung up so I couldn't see what was going on (thank goodness) but I got his attention and told him I was freezing. He told Dr. Seamus, who then got me a nice warm sheet to drape across my arms and shoulders. NOW I was ready for surgery!

Bryan watched the surgery intently, but declined taking photos. I don't think I would have wanted to see that. He said at one point blood went squirting out. He still talks about it as the coolest part. I felt nothing at all and finally was warm enough, so I was doing great. It seemed to go really fast, I didn't feel like I was there long at all, when I heard a loud newborn's scream. My very first thought was "That's mine! She's mine! She's mine!" (That looks really creepy typed out like that, but think of me saying it in a sweet, excited, maternal kind of way.) As soon as her head was out, she was screaming, and she kept screaming, which was good. They got her out easily. She was a little blue, but warmed up and turned pink really quickly. I could see the nurses cleaning her up to my left as I laid there, with my doctor cleaning me up. She was so tiny! Just 5 pounds 5 ounces and only 17 and 1/2 inches long! But she was healthy! They nurses offered to Bryan to cut the cord, which had already been cut and clamped as they removed her from me. He hesitated, but I told him to do it, so he did. He later said it wasn't as cool to him because they had already cut it to disconnect us, this was just secondary cutting. (I still find it funny that he wanted to be the one to come between me and Chloe.) They took her away to get taken care of, and I was moved onto a rolling bed to be taken to the post-operating room to be taken care of, too.

Bryan and Chloe met me in the post-operating room. She laid in her bed beside me. Bryan's mom, my parents, and my brother Collin had come to the hospital to be the first to greet Chloe. Only two other people could come back at a time, so they kept rotating. I was so tired and drugged up, I wasn't really too sure what was going on. I was only allowed to eat ice chips, since putting anything in my stomach would likely cause me to throw up. Apparently even that was too much. My dad was standing near me and I asked him to pass me the tray that was on the table. He did just in time. I was waiting and ready. I was a professional at throwing up by this point.

Everyone kept asking how I was doing, but I was just drugged up and tired. They moved us up to our own room. Grandma Gigi (like G.G. short for Grandma Gifford) got to change Chloe's first diaper. Gradually I came out of my stupor. I still couldn't move my legs though so I sent Bryan home to sleep and Chloe to the nursery with the nurses. They knew what they were doing better than I did, anyway, and we'd all do better with a good night's sleep.

Saturday, November 7, 2009: We just sat around watching tv. Grandma Gigi was with Chloe as much as possible, and she let Grandpa Gifford come along and watch her hold Chloe. She was so excited; she didn't share well. Other visitors include my aunt Sharon; Bryan's sisters Kristy and Malissa; and some friends from our ward, Grace and Richard, and Vance and Anakate.

Sunday, November 8, 2009: I was healing well and Chloe was doing great so we got to come home, one day ahead of schedule. She was down to just 5 pounds even. Any smaller and not only would we have had to stay longer, she might have found herself in the NICU. But we were very blessed and able to go home. We are so glad to have her here!

Shhh....Don't Tell Bryan

Bryan has been complaining about needing a new pillow for quite some time. He has NO problem falling asleep and snoring all night long, but everyone should be allowed their ideal pillow. Last night, we just decided to pop over to Macy's to check out their pillows. He bought his last pillow there about 10 years ago and paid $120 for it! That seems like way too much for a pillow to me, but, in his defense, it was buy one, get one free. That makes it a little better.

Fortunately, Macy's was once again having a sale on pillows. Maybe they do it every 10 years or so. Bryan checked every pillow in the store. Even the ones on display that weren't even for sale. He likes the firmest pillow possible. He was leaning towards another $120 pillow that was once again buy one get one free. I told him he would have to store that free one in his closet for a back-up. But it was goose down and he wasn't quite sure that it would stay firm enough. I pointed out a Calvin Klein synthetic pillow that was on sale for $36. I told him whatever he was happy with was fine. But then I got to go spend that much money at Pottery Barn for stuff for Chloe's room, which he hates, but he agreed.

Then the sales lady came over to see if we needed help. I stepped back and let them talk it over. I really was suggesting the Calvin Klein pillow because it was synthetic and wouldn't smoosh down as quickly. But he said I was just trying to choose the cheaper one. The sales lady suggested the exact same thing and for the exact same reason, but Bryan listened to her and picked the Calvin Klein style. Even with tax, it was only about $10!!! He bought two of them!

So on the drive home, he said, "What are you going to buy at Pottery Barn for $20?" I don't think they have anything there for $20! Well, I may not get anything for Chloe's room, but at least we didn't spend over $100 on a new pillow! Thank goodness for the sales lady who could talk some sense into him! Just don't tell him that I knew she would!

Never Ending Search for Great Lashes

When I'm resurrected, one of my top 5 requests for my perfect body is for awesome eyelashes. I obsess over having great eyelashes. Although that is dwindling as I get more pregnant and feel less like dealing with it.

Saturday I decided to try false lashes, not as part of a costume, but as a short-cut to the lashes I spend at least 4 coats of mascara on, and as much time as I spend on the rest of my face combined. The falsies looked pretty good, and were way faster.

8 a.m. church is just too early for me, so I decided I'd wear false lashes as a faster way to get ready. I put on a pair, but it seemed a little long. Well, that is the point, right?? Just to make sure, I went and checked with Bryan to make sure they were church appropriate. He looked at me and said, "You're working the Library, not Van Buren!" I peeled them off and put some mascara on my sparse, natural lashes. And we got to church at 8:30.

Work Sucks.....I Know

Blink-182 probably wasn't referring to Teaching when they wrote that line for their song, but it sure is true.

This has to be the hardest year yet. I have 30 students, which is WAY too many to get any work done. I've been at school 'til well after 5 each day this week. I still feel like I'm just barely keeping my nose above water. It better get better.

The hard part is that I don't love my kids yet. It's a lot like getting transferred to a new area as a missionary. I missed my old area and the people who were there, members and investigators. But eventually, I learned to love the new area. I know I will learn to love my new class, but until then, it's especially rough.

My feet were swollen yesterday. That's new to me in this pregnancy. I've discovered that wearing tennis shoes is the only way my back doesn't hurt, but that really limits my clothing options. (I will not be "that girl" who wears tennis shoes with a skirt!) But I'm not allowed to wear jeans every day yet. Maybe I can get a special exception. I'd rather not be pregnant and wear a skirt and heels.

When did I become a Hobbit?

I don't really even like Lord of the Rings that much. But you have to admit that Merry and Pip, the two side-character Hobbits, are quite funny. Apparently, being pregnant has turned me into a Hobbit. I suppose it was only a matter of time: my dad has been told by his brother since he was in his youth that he has "Hobbit legs." But if you remember Merry and Pip in the second Lord of the Rings discussing "second breakfast," you can see how I'm eating like a Hobbit.

First breakfast
Second breakfast
Elevensies
Lunch
Snack (I think they called it Tea or Tea Time)
Dinner
Bed snack or dessert.

I'm getting very tired of eating. I don't even like that much food! But what Chloe wants, she gets. See, Bryan? I told you she was the boss already.

Good Looks and/or Musical Ability

I like to quiz Bryan when we are listening to the radio to see if he knows who's playing, and then teach him things about the artist/group. So last night I was teaching Bryan about Ted Nugent, and I was telling him how he is not good looking. Bryan said, "Name a rocker who is!" Here's our conversation:

"L.L. Cool J." I mean, his name is Ladies Love Cool James. You can't deny that.
"No, he's a rapper, not a rocker."
"Okay, Justin Timberlake."
"No, he's Boy Band."
"Oh no he's not! But I will agree that he's not a 'rocker.' Hmmm..."
"Think of the Rolling Stones or Aerosmith....Not good looking. You can't rock and be good looking."
"I will think of someone!"

About 3 hours later, as I was brushing my teeth, I thought of Jim Morrison. The Doors were rock, and he was good looking. Got one! Bryan was in the kitchen so I shouted down the stairs at him, "Jim Morrison from The Doors!" I had to explain to him who The Doors are, but then he agreed that I found one. I thought, there has to be more! So today I asked my parents if they could think of any.

They both agreed with Jim Morrison, but they said only in his younger days. (Isn't that how good looks work with all people? Only in our younger years...) My mom suggested Rick Springfield. He was so good looking he's been on tv shows as a true actor, not as his famous self. We were debating whether he was truly "rock," but we gave it to her. My dad suggested David Lee Roth. Now, we all know that the true rock and roll talent lies with the Van Halen brothers, but we will give it to David for being the voice and personality for the band. I agreed that he was probably good looking, as far as 80's standards go. I can't watch those 80's videos and not laugh. Yikes, what a decade. But we had already established that it's good looks for their younger years, and probably height of popularity, so it doesn't matter what he looks like by today's standards.

But that was it. Jim Morrison, Rick Springfield, and David Lee Roth.
Was John Bon Jovi good looking in the 80's also?

Can you think of others?

Big Announcements

Alright, alright. What do I do? Just shout it out to everyone? I'm not really like that, but here's the official announcements:

Yes, I am pregnant. I know it just looks like I'm getting fatter, but there is a baby growing in there. And a baby girl, too!! Hooray! I'm about 19 weeks along (about 4 1/2 months) and everything with the baby looks great! So far she is healthy and growing right on schedule. I have not had fun being pregnant, but that's the price we pay. Hopefully that means she'll be healthy when she's born. We've even chosen a name for her already: Chloe Jane. She can be C.J. for short or if there's another Chloe in her class. She'll be here in mid-November. I'm betting on the 20th so that I won't be able to go see "New Moon" right away. But we'll see.

Our other big news is that Bryan and I FINALLY got sealed on Saturday, June 20th. Don't feel left out if you thought you should've been invited. I wanted to keep it a small ceremony. I hate being the center of the room with all eyes on me. But it was very nice, and I managed not to cry, although my sister said it made me have a funny look on my face. It is so nice to have a feeling of "completeness" in our relationship and to know that Bryan is stuck with me forever and ever! We had a really fun dinner afterward, and I appreciate everyone who pitched in and everyone who came to show their support. It was especially great to have a group to come play Rock Band with me, which is rare. I had a great time! Thanks everyone!

Something I Miss

One thing I miss, since becoming pregnant, is wearing a pair of tight jeans that makes my butt look great. Silly, I know. But it's gone... for now.

Realization

So I was at the OB yesterday, waiting 45 minutes for my appointment, which I was not pleased about, but it's summer time and I don't really have much else going on so it wasn't a big deal, and sometime it will be my turn to take all of the doctor's time, so I was reading a Pregnancy magazine. I generally avoid them because reading too much makes me over-analyze and freaks me out, so Bryan says I'm not allowed to. But I had already read all the regular magazines in such a long wait. As I was looking through, trying not to pay too much attention to what it was saying, I realized why I'm not totally thrilled about being pregnant and having a baby: (besides the fact that pregnancy sucks)
I'm totally stressed out about it. I've just been ignoring it and so it comes across as just being not excited. I DO NOT do well with new situations. Ask my sister or Bryan. I don't go on vacations to places I haven't been before or am not with someone who has been there. Mom and Dad gave us the Christmas present of sending us on a cruise for Spring Break, which was SO great of them to do for us, but I could only agree to it because Bryan speaks Spanish (the cruise was to Mexico.) Just checking in for the cruise had me completely freaked out. Cathie thought I should have been fine because it's a very controlled atmosphere. We were on the boat the whole time and when we got off, it was with group tours provided by the cruise line. That is the only way I survived that experience.
Going on a mission was ultra-super-stressful, too. I only survived the MTC because, again, it was a very controlled atmosphere. And going to Canada....well, I have no doubt that the Lord gives extra blessings to missionaries. It's the only way I survived the whole thing. I took over as "Travel Leader" in the airport on the way to Canada because I thought the Elder in charge was going to get us lost and miss our plane. Another elder re-named me as the Travel Leader, and they answered to me. I swore to the Lord that if He lost my luggage, I was turning around and going back to Arizona. What do you know-- it only got lost on my way home after my mission! But I was stressed.
They try to warn you before you go on a mission that "It's a lot of work." But no one really explains what that means. It's not a lot of work like digging a trench, it was much more emotional and spiritual work, especially in my mission where we drove cars the entire time. It was hardly ever physical work. But no one tells you that. You just gotta find out for yourself.
Everyone tells me that pregnancy is rough, or that labor is going to hurt like nothing I've felt before. But I don't really know what exactly it's going to be like. So there we are with a new situation, which I DO NOT do well with. So I'm stressed. And it's only just begun. Reading about it just freaks me out more. So what I'm trying to say is: I don't mean to seem like I'm not excited, I am excited deep down, I'm just stressed out.
I know, I know, get a blessing, trust in the Lord, pray about it, blah blah blah. It's still new and stressful. And I haven't even begun to think about once baby is here.

On a happier note: The doctor told me that I actually lost weight since I saw her last. And not because I can't keep any food down. Lately I feel like I can't eat enough! Oh yes, I am one of those annoying women who actually lost weight while being pregnant. Take a moment to hate me now.
Okay, okay, it's still early in my pregnancy, I'm sure it won't last long. But at least I can say it now!

Another example

It may be a bit boring to you readers, and I don't mean to seem like I'm bragging, but I have another example of how considerate we are in our marriage. This is like my journal, afterall.

Last Sunday we were at Bryan's Mom's house for dinner and his sister, Kimmy, who is quite a baker, made chocolate chip cookies. Our nephew, Ty, was walking around with a plate of cookies, serving the grown-ups. (One thing I can't wait to have kids for!) There was one cookie left when Ty got to me. Bryan was is the adjoining room, so I knew he hadn't gotten one, so I told Ty to take it to Bryan, which he did. I could hear Bryan's response when Ty reached him: "Has Candace gotten one yet?" I leaned over to where he could see me and told him, "I just sent him to you!" I do feel so very lucky and blessed to have such a sweet husband! He did take the cookie, BTW. But that's okay because I don't like chocolate AT ALL when I'm pregnant. Weird.

Consider This

One of my most favorite things about being married to Bryan is how considerate we are of each other. We both agree that we were missing it in our first marriages, and maybe that's why we both try especially hard to be considerate. Or maybe we just naturally are and make a great couple.

The other day, we were both in the kitchen, putting things away and getting things out. He needed to put something in the fridge at just about the same time I needed to get something out of the freezer. We turned around and I opened the fridge (for him) and right afterward he opened the freezer (for me). He realized what I did and asked, "Did you open the fridge for me?" and I said "Yes." He laughed and said, "I opened the freezer for you!" It was just a very sweet moment that showed how much we think of each other first, before ourselves. It's such a nicer way to live.

Did you get a straight answer?

So today during lunch, me and the guys were doing what we always do, watching CNN. They were doing an interview with a high school senior and his lawyer. He was complaining about how we was unable to access Gay friendly websites while at school. Guessing by his lisp and the fact that his lawyer looked like a man but was actually a woman, I think they were both gay. They were going on and on about something when the commentator asked a very legitimate question to them. She asked, "Have you gotten any straight answers?" Well after that, we don't have any clue on what was said because we were laughing so hard. If you're gay and reading this, don't be mad, it was still funny.

Racing to the Doctor's

I was reminded of the Seinfeld episode where they go to pick up the car rental they reserved, but the company gave them all out and Jerry makes the joke about they know how to *make* a reservation, they just don't know how to *keep* the reservation.

Bryan and I went to the Obstetrician's this afternoon. As we pulled into our front-row parking spot, a lady and her daughter (who looked way too young to be going to the OBGYN in the first place) were walking up to the doctor's door. They saw us pulling into the parking spot that was obviously for the same doctor that they were going to, so they start hustling and trotting up to the door, like it's Disneyland and whoever gets there first gets served first. I'm pretty sure the Doctor knows how to *make* appointments and *keep* appointments.

In a Nutshell

Well, it's been a loooong time since we wrote. The funny part about it is that we've actually had quite a bit going on. Here's our last few months in a nutshell.

Christmas was great. It was our 3rd Christmas together, so that's fun to have a "history."

I have a student teacher this semester, so that has brought a welcome ease of schedule for me.

We went on our first cruise! My parents got us a cruise for Christmas, which took place over Spring Break. I'm not a very good traveller; I get very stressed out when going to new places, so a cruise was perfect because it was very contained and organized by the cruiseline. We will definitely be going on more in the future! Thanks, Mom and Dad!

Right before we left on the cruise, I mean the day before, we found out that I'm pregnant. No exclamation point. I called the doctor that day and she put me on some medicine that is supposed to help keep me from miscarrying. Everyone gets all excited and giddy when we tell them we're expecting, but Bryan and I were talking about it today, and we're both just "meh" about the whole thing. We'll see if this one lasts. I think I'll be more excited when I make it far enough along to start to have my belly showing. Maybe.

But the real reason I felt compelled to finally blog again was our trip to Utah for conference. My sister works in the Church Administration building, so she was able to get us great seats for Conference, and she just bought a condo there, so we had a place to stay, too. Having recently found out that we might be having a baby this fall, we figured this was our last chance for a long time. I don't want to drive to Utah when I'm 8 months pregnant, and you can't take kids younger than 8 years old in the conference center, so it was now or almost never.

We took Friday off of work to make the drive without messing up our sleeping schedules too much. We knew it was going to be windy and chilly, but by the time we hit Kanab, it was snowing! Several inches! We knew we needed new tires on the Durango; we were just waiting for our tax refund to purchase them. But the roads had not been plowed, and our tires were too bald for this type of drive.

At one point, we slid over the other lane of traffic (going like 10 miles an hour, but still scary) and went head-first into the side of the mountain. Luckily no traffic was coming, but everyone was going 10 miles an hour, so it might've been ok. Bryan just put it in reverse, backed over to our side of the road, and we continued on our way. Less than a mile later, we started spinning out- we had no traction whatsoever. We slid over to the shoulder of the road and tried, but we could not get moving.

We tried calling 911 and I spoke to them for a couple of minutes before we lost signal, but I didn't get to tell them where we were. We were totally stuck. Bryan said a prayer for us, and then a big semi- truck drove by, squashing some big, clear tracks in the snow. Bryan put it in reverse again, backed up into the semi's tracks, put it in drive, and we were on our way.

Little did we realize in all of the snow-stuck crazy-ness, we somehow missed a turn and took a slightly longer route, not through the mountains. We didn't realize this until we were on our way home on Sunday. We had bought brand new tires for a killer deal, and the snow had cleared, so we were a little less stressed on our way home and could follow the directions more closely. We realized that the road the directions told us was NOT the way we had come up. We also realized that the road the directions told us was much more steep and much sharper turns. We never would have made it on our old tires in the snow!

While it was great to be at conference, and so fun to see the apostles and prophets up close, I felt like our real spiritual experience came from the travelling. It was very clear to us that we were led and guided and watched-out-for along the way. I am very grateful for prayer, that when we could not contact anyone else for help, we could ask our Heavenly Father for help, and He answered. I know he hears and answers our prayers, maybe sometimes just in His own way.